That’s how I know I care

In 3 weeks I am going on a hike

Also I recently put on 12 pounds
Which added an extra pack
To an already heavy body
Without including gear or water

My body warns me when
It’s not a move I can handle
This time it nudges me to go

Like any adventure
It partly looks insurmountable
Goes beyond what I have done or know possible
Maybe not by much
But a stretch it is still

I thought of lightening fast
Or ignore Life and not go
But no
As I explored options
A middle ground opened

Adjust the itinerary to your capacities
Fast a few times before you leave
Have lighter walking days
Especially the longest, cut that one in half
Rest when you need
Go to the beach

Suggestions were gentle, multiple, achievable
Making it work with my current situation
Instead of challenging myself
To fit into a stronger scenario

That’s how I know I care
The answer is counting me in
As I am, not how I’m meant to be

The power within our feet

One of my favorite moments
Is a morning walk
Feet bare in dewy grass

I leave the house without my shoes
On routes I wouldn’t have tried or suspected
Adventures I couldn’t have known or directed

My feet lead the way, taking me to
Rose bushes in bloom
Cherry trees in the ripening

They ask I walk slowly
To a point I see more of my surroundings
Hips get balanced
Spine goes erect
The soles of my feet
Open, relaxed, and alert

That’s how they feel their way around

When I think of all the tools
We add to our lives to make it better
And how we are oblivious to the ones
We are naturally equipped with

Maybe we can start here
Discovering how attune we can be
When we set foot on the Earth
Rekindling the power within our feet

Home for the butterflies

Today the sense of direction is unclear
It somehow got lost or partially disappeared
Uneasy with the awkwardness
I tried to steer myself to a schedule
Reason with getting back on track 
All attempts fell off

Maybe I’m in the home
For the butterflies
Energies moving in and around me
For something new to emerge

That has a wider grasp on things
And is so out of sorts with
Where I currently am
I am invited to stand still
Let transformation operate

This is the space
Where wings are made

Perfect timing

Don’t push for the right moment
Don’t make it now when it’s not
Let it come
It might not be this morning at 10
like you had planned
It might come an hour later
Or not today, who knows
If you listen closely
You will know the next opening
Your body will give you a nudge
Or be in position without you noticing

You’ll know it’s there
Refreshing, with natural flow
And an element of surprise
It’s the moment meeting you

Juggling down

My mind is a crowded space this morning
Perspectives of change
Seen and not yet seen
Are having me under stress
Way more than I would like to admit

A dozen thoughts are showering through
With a “what to do?” and a “what not to”

One way I know to lower
The cascading of thoughts
Is to sit with them
Take one at a time
And make a plan
For what I could do
With alternative options
And a deadline

Put each in a pipeline
Instead of keeping it on the sideline
Of uncertainty

At the end of it
I won’t know more what will happen
But I will trust better
That I can keep things moving
However Life goes

And that is really all I need to hear

Near the beginning

It’s erasing a black board mid sentence
Or move a few yards, fatigued at some point,
That you walked ten thousand steps
And are nowhere near the finish line

Your body kept you in place
Allowing the first 3 steps and hitting repeat
You are gasping out a « Wait for me !»
Staying put while the world is moving besides you

You’re in that inch too far to grab a hand
However close, it’s never within reach
Then comes the terror when it hits you
You are doomed

Oh so it feels
So you go further

The next move comes from a place you know nothing of
A crack in the ground which will reveal something unseen
You can’t anticipate or prepare for
It feels new, has steady growth or determination

You wouldn’t expect it or know how to
There is a force that comes from within, she whispers
« Carry on, you are near the beginning, not the end. »

The cutest snail

I just crushed a Life
The cutest snail outside my door
Which I did see once and thought
I should move you out of the way
My hands were full
with seeds and dirt
I went back in
Then I forgot
Walked out again and
Oh no!

Switching gears

This morning started off shaky
Followed by an « Oh no not again »
And a «  Well I can go through the day if it’s showing up »

I made some moves
Slow and small
Went for a 2 minute run
Smelled fresh cut Lilac
Danced in the bathroom

Went for what felt good
Made it soft and easy
Stayed connected to my body

The mood lift up, quite discreetly
Sometimes switching gears comes easy

An instant review

Do you feel the swings?

Some hectics moments
Followed by peace and quiet
Asking for some balancing acts

Some will require chocolate,
Many will not
When it’s shaking more than usual

I find it’s a great place
To find out quicker
What works and what not

It’s pretty much out of my control
In between moods
I have honest clarity
Of what to release and where to engage

Flashed with an instant review
A blueprint for next steps starts to appear

When it feels worse and it’s also getting better

I may have an impulse of reaching out to soothe the pain
Or see an old pattern and not go there anymore

In an intense situation
I might be « handling it »
So much so I am on automatic
While being aware of it

I might be rambling on and on about a old conversation
Not knowing how to stop

I might be frightened, closed off and protective,
And be on the verge of collapsing a distorted dynamic
For a new sense of equilibrium

It doesn’t look good
It feels even worse
From the outer
It might look like I’ve gone even deeper
Into that hole I swore myself out of

And In the wildness of it all
I somehow feel
New ground where I felt most out of touch
Connection where I felt lost
Softened where I felt armored
Moved where I felt unable

When it feels worse it’s also getting better