When it feels worse and it’s also getting better

I may have an impulse of reaching out to soothe the pain
Or see an old pattern and not go there anymore

In an intense situation
I might be « handling it »
So much so I am on automatic
While being aware of it

I might be rambling on and on about a old conversation
Not knowing how to stop

I might be frightened, closed off and protective,
And be on the verge of collapsing a distorted dynamic
For a new sense of equilibrium

It doesn’t look good
It feels even worse
From the outer
It might look like I’ve gone even deeper
Into that hole I swore myself out of

And In the wildness of it all
I somehow feel
New ground where I felt most out of touch
Connection where I felt lost
Softened where I felt armored
Moved where I felt unable

When it feels worse it’s also getting better