Moving with Chaos

There’s a part that’s breathing low but wearily
Agitation in the whole body
Can’t sit still, keep quiet or feel the pain
I want to shut it down
Need to keep on going and doing
Maybe it’ll go away

Down the stairs, up the stairs, sweep the floor, make the bed, cut my nails

Another part sees the agitation
Knows that stable and calm will get her through
Starts moving gently, in regular and steady form
Introducing a parallel current
Her paces are slow, extended, lengthy and steady

Breathe a little wider, get a towel, gently touch the shoulder, turn on the shower, pour a glass of water

Under no circumstance does she take the panicky hand
Make her stop or go slower
She knows it would make it worse

This is the ballet I woke up to this morning
And regularly dance when I am dispersed
Parts have learned to walk together

My body has taught me a way to come to balance
It accompanies the chaotic rhythm by a slower one
That will walk along it,
In parallel
While doing its own thing
Without ever trying to slow chaos down
Just being with it and moving by its side

And as they go along side by side
They somehow come in resonance
Chaos soothes down
And in a standstill tears flow
There is nowhere to go