Stop raging against the machine

I have a quick tendency to race and blame and express my discontent. For the most part I do it in my head, away from the public eye. People would probably run away if they heard.

I went for a walk this morning. Alone with the sun, fresh air, birds and trees. Thoughts were racing, I could hear them quite clearly. I was astonished at how defensive I was. Playing over and over what I didn’t like about colleague, room mate, the cat on the sidewalk … ’s attitude(s). Anything was good for grabs to make a reaction out of.

It went on and on and on. I could fill the list endlessly, and still find something new to add by the minute.

I know it doesn’t take me anywhere good.
If it could, it would have done so by now.

I need to stop raging against the machine.
It only leaves me breathless, in a soggy state of despair.

Not building strength
Not holding ground
Doesn’t make Life easier
Doesn’t get the mood better

I need to be harnessing my own energy
Fill my cup back up
Till its plenty and overflows

Go for what gives me ground
What truly nourishes me

OK where do I start ?